Couples counselling in Burnaby and across British Columbia
Counselling for couples working through relationship or marital difficulty, in person in Burnaby or online across British Columbia.
Couples usually arrive at one of two points. Either something specific has happened and it needs working through, or nothing specific has happened and that is the problem: the same argument on a loop, or a distance that has grown without either person deciding on it.
Both are workable. Neither requires you to have agreed on what is wrong before you come.
What couples bring
the same argument repeating, with no progress in it
tension that never quite resolves between conversations
distance, and less of a shared life than there used to be
anger, and the way it arrives faster than either person intends
loss of intimacy
a breach of trust
differences in how each person handles conflict, closeness or stress
a transition that has changed the relationship: a move, a job, a child, a loss
deciding whether to continue
How I work with two people
The main difference from individual work is that I am not there to decide who is right. My interest is in the pattern the two of you produce together, which is usually something neither of you would choose on your own.
I try to understand why something happens rather than judge that it happened, and with couples that matters more than anywhere else, because most of what looks like unreasonableness makes sense once you can see what it is protecting.
Emotion Focused Therapy is the main frame here. It treats feelings as information rather than as the obstacle, which is useful when a couple has learned to treat each other's reactions as the problem. Alongside it I use person-centred work, and CBT where a concrete pattern needs interrupting.
Eighty-minute sessions often work better for two people than fifty.
Access and location
I want to be as accessible to my clients as possible. I offer sessions on weekdays and weekends as well as during the day and evening.
I see clients in person in Burnaby, a few minutes from Metrotown, and online anywhere in British Columbia. Sessions run 50 or 80 minutes, and I work in English and conversational Mandarin.
A limited number of sliding scale spaces are available. If cost is the thing standing in the way, raise it at the consultation and we will talk about it.
Questions couples ask about couples counselling
-
Start anyway, either together or individually. One person working on their side of a pattern changes the pattern, and reluctance is worth understanding rather than overcoming first.
-
Sometimes, where it is useful and where both of you know that is the arrangement. That gets agreed openly rather than privately.
-
That is a legitimate reason to come. The work is helping you reach a decision you both understand rather than steering you toward one answer.
-
Yes, anywhere in British Columbia, including from two different locations if that is what your week allows.
Booking
I offer every new client a free 20-minute consultation, by phone or video, before anything is booked. It exists so you can hear how I work and decide whether it suits you, with no obligation either way.
Sessions run 50 or 80 minutes, in person in Burnaby or online anywhere in British Columbia, in English or conversational Mandarin.